Open Letter of Rage to TBS

Subject: FEWER Commercials
"Hello,
I watch your channel a lot. But one thing continues to bother me: "More movie...less commercials" is grammatically incorrect. It kills a little piece of my soul every time I hear it. Please consider changing it to the proper: "More movie...fewer commercials."

Thank you for your time."

Minor success! A canned response:

"Thank your for contacting TBS.

Your feedback is valued and will be received and reviewed by a member of our TBS web staff.

All communications will be routed to the appropriate departments for their consideration.

Should your correspondence require a response, we will make every attempt to provide one to you in a timely manner. Many answers can be found by utilizing the extensive Knowledge Base that has been established for your convenience and we encourage you to explore this tool thoroughly.

Thank you for watching!

Best,
TBS Web Staff"

Comcast, you have no idea what I'm watching

First off, let me tell you how freaking hard it was to capture this damn picture when you're the only one in the house. I had to hold the digital camera and remote and time it just right. Seriously, took a while and I'm pretty ashamed about it.

HOWEVER, Comcast should be more ashamed. Above, you'll notice a scene a movie from the attic of VH1 "The Jacksons: An American Dream." Yet, when you look at the info box below, it says it's supposed to be the "Fabulous Life of..." I think it's supposed to be "mountain people."

Anyway, the show in the info box says it will be on from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. and yet you can clearly see that in the top right of the info box that it's 5:17 p.m.

A minor mistake? Sure. And it's almost cute. The first time. But this happens on a constant basis and for some reason VH1 seems to be the only culprit.

I'm putting initial blame on Comcast, though maybe it's the knuckheads at VH1 messing it up. Either way, I'm watching TV even more confused than I should be.

Hey Domino's, stop it. You stop it right now.

Domino's, you've changed. You were once a great late-night pizza place that gave food to hungry drunkards and gave free-wheeling delivery drivers an exciting 30-minutes-or-less challenge.

You even incorporated cheap medium-sized pizzas that inspired eating contests at colleges everywhere. You did that. And we loved you for it.

Then you started adding to your menu and what started with wings and breadsticks (good ideas) gave way for the misguided brownie square complete with a dipping sauce that when ordered looked like little pieces of shit fresh from the toilet. You even had a mascot for it that left little "brownie" smudges everywhere it touched, the same way a piece of poo leaves its mark when flung across the room.

But I let it slide. Everyone makes mistakes and, in the end, I knew that we would look back and laugh, the same way we laughed about how the Philly Cheesesteak Pizza looks like something a fat guy vomited on the street in the city of brotherly love.

That is, until I got an ad today in the mail about your subs. Four to be exact: Chicken Parm, Philly Cheesesteak, Chicken Bacon Ranch, and Italian.

Why, in the name of all that is greasy, are you selling SUBS?

And what obese family convinced you this was a good idea? "Hey, let's get a pizza...and a sub, because I dunno if I want to eat a triangle or a rectangle shaped thing tonight."

I'm actually disgusted. The Philly Cheesesteak Pizza was bad enough.

But if you're gonna offer subs, why not other things like sushi or fried chicken or a massage from an out-of-work stripper named "Amerika."

Granted, I understand you're trying to keep up with the other chains. Dunkin Donuts has a breakfast pizza and McDonalds seems to put all sorts of weird things on their menu. So I understand, somewhat.

But seriously Domino's. This has gone too far. Pull up your pants and just make me a better pie. You're better than this.

*UPDATE
(We got a response! A canned response, but one none the less!)

Dominos Case #: 563428

Dear XXXXXXXXXXXX,

Thank you for taking the time to contact the Domino's Pizza Customer Care Team. As one of our valued customers, your comments are extremely important to us.

I have forwarded your comments to the appropriate department for review. Please be assured your comments will be taken seriously and considered to help us improve our operations

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact us.

Sincerely,

Kellie

Domino's Pizza Customer Care Team

Open Letter of Rage to Get Out Magainze website

Open Letter of Rage:
"To Whom it May Concern:

I'm writing concerning the El Zaribah Shrine Circus ad on your website. I realize that companies pay for the ads and you can't really tell them what to use, but I am deeply terrified of clowns. Every time I'm on your website its scary, rainbow-haired, too-happy face is there and I have to leave. In fact, it's staring at me right now! I just think you should be a little more sensitive about your readers' fears.

Thank you."


No response to date.

Rage-O-Meter: Eh, paper-cut level...mostly just pissed I keep doing it to myself.

Open Letter of Rage to the Republican Party of Arizona

Open Letter of Rage:
"Dear Fellow Republican,
Please, please, please stop calling me with campaign recordings. I'm already a registered Republican! What else do you want from me? I get called AT LEAST once a day with some pre-recorded message about voting from some Republican candidate. The Democrats have never called me. Maybe I should register Democrat so I can stop being harassed. Please, remove me from whatever list or whatever you do, stop wasting my cell phone minutes with needless pleas and leave me alone.

Thank you.

This is my phone number...480.***.****...stop calling it!"

The Republican Response:

We receive numerous calls and emails every day similar to yours. Unfortunately (fortunately?) we have nothing to do with these calls. The calls from candidates are in no way associated with the Party. Candidates get their phone lists from the County, from records provided when voters register. Any phone numbers they have, you provided at will when you registered to vote. You may contact the Recorder’s Office at recorder.maricopa.gov to find out who to talk to there about having your number removed from their records. However, since the candidates already have their lists, removing your number with the County Recorder will not affect the calls you are receiving this election cycle.

Arizona Republican Party"

Rage-O-Meter:
Comparable to kicked in the shin by a small child...every day, sometimes three times a day...for a month straight.